‘Tis the season for gratitude, so I’m going to use this post to express thanks.

As you can see, hat and hairstyles have been coming and going throughout the ages.  Every now and then something “retro” or “vintage” comes back into play, but there are plenty of toppers and ‘dos that have faded into the shadows of history – with good reason.  You have to wonder what inspired some of these styles!  But mainly, I’m grateful that people rarely walk around looking like this anymore – and that I’m not expected to follow these trends.

• Rubber bathing caps with fake flower petals: These are not comfortable.  They do not look real.  They do not increase your hydrodynamicism (I totally made up that word, but you know what I mean).  Stick with plain Lycra folks, ok?
• Nightcaps: I know we have modern heating to thank for this one as well, but I’ve seen one too many episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman that featured Horace and Myra in hideous 19th century pj’s, complete with a pompom-ed stocking cap for him and a frilly mob cap for her.  And as someone who covers completely for much of the day, bedtime is my only chance to let my scalp breathe.  When it’s dark, no one can see your greasy/unstyled/frizzy hair anyway, so you might as well let it down.
• Coonskin caps: Forget Davy Crockett.  Whether or not you approve of wearing fur, you have to admit that wearing a whole dead animal on your head is A. Ugly and B. Disconcerting.  If you’re not being attacked by a large rodent, why would you want to appear as though you were?
• The Mop-top: I’m a Beatles fan.  Ringo Starr and I share a birthday, so I will always consider him a pal.  But the mop-top was not, and will never be, attractive on anyone.
• Powdered wigs: The 18th century is long behind us fashion-wise, thank goodness.  The powdered wig (for men) and powdered updo (for women) was one of the most awful hairstyle trends ever.  The stuff was made from ground up starch, scented and sometimes colored.  You think blue streaks look punky?  Try a 20-inch-high lavender updo loaded with powder, extensions, pomades, and accessories.  My head feels itchy and gross just thinking about it.